


I Was Nervous On My First Day Too

by EchoPhantom, revenblue



Category: Phineas and Ferb
Genre: Canon-Typical Ambiguous Relationship, Gen, POV Third Person Limited, Perry gets outed and Heinz covers for him, Perry's officially an assistant teacher now, Post-Episode: s04e46 Doof 101
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-28
Updated: 2020-05-28
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:14:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24418693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EchoPhantom/pseuds/EchoPhantom, https://archiveofourown.org/users/revenblue/pseuds/revenblue
Summary: Perry the Platypus has a new job, and for once Heinz is the one in the supporting role.
Relationships: Heinz Doofenshmirtz & Perry the Platypus
Comments: 16
Kudos: 67





	I Was Nervous On My First Day Too

**Author's Note:**

> Original scene written by EchoPhantom, expanded by revenblue.

The loud crash coming from the direction of Heinz's door is _familiar_ , if unexpected. Actually unexpected. For one thing, it's like 5 in the morning, and he _knows_ Perry the Platypus was not a morning platyperson. For another-

Groaning, Heinz rubs his hands over his face, staring blearily at the ceiling. "Perry the Platypus, what are you doing here?" he complains through the door, deciding now was a good time to get up, since he was _awake_ now. "It's a _Monday_ , you _know_ I teach my classes today!"

Heinz wasn't even Evil any more. No more schemes, no more inators, _some_ monologues because Perry the Platypus couldn't expect him to _stop_ after this long, and nothing to thwart. No plans for it, either. No reason for Perry the Platypus to come over whatsoever. That the agent has burst in _anyway_ , walking over to his wardrobe and digging through it...

"Wh- Hey! Perry the Platypus, don't you know it's _rude_ to just waltz into your neme- right, _ex_ -nemesis's bedroom, and start going through his clothes?"

Perry the Platypus did not stop. In fact, he redoubles his efforts, tossing formerly clean clothes onto the floor.

"Are you alright?" Heinz has to ask, climbing out of bed to pick up the contents of his wardrobe where the agent had tossed it. Some of it was still neat enough to wear, and it wasn't like he hadn't gotten dressed in front of Perry the Platypus before, this was fine. "It's just, I've never seen you like this before-"

Cutting Heinz off with a shake of his head, Perry chitters, more shaky and stressed than normal. Heinz would know. He's only fought Perry the Platypus a _lot_ , he knows what _normal_ looked like for the agent, and _this_ is not it.

He also knows his nemesis- ex-nemesis- well enough to pick up on the furrow in his brow and its meaning. "You need some of my clothes? Why, did Monobrow finally run out of budget?" A low blow, but now that he wasn't _Evil_ he's allowed to hear Perry the Platypus's _frustrations_ , and that had made the top of the list on multiple occasions.

Another head shake and Perry the Platypus lifts a bow tie in one paw, gesturing at the stack of papers spread over the bed with the other. So Heinz had fallen asleep while marking tests, so what?

"Wh- _oh_ , you joined the school? You're my assistant teacher _for realsies_?"

Perry the Platypus nods, shoving the bow tie into Heinz's hands and jumping onto the bed. Turning around, he gives Heinz an expectant look, his head nearly coming up to Heinz's shoulders.

"-and you need _me_ to make you look good for your first day?" Heinz finishes, rubbing his thumb along the smooth fabric in his hands. A nice orange silk he'd bought on a whim, hidden in the back of his wardrobe and never worn, it matches Perry the Platypus's handsome bill. "Alright then. But first, we _have_ to fix that fur of yours, look at it! It's a tangled mess!"

All Perry the Platypus does at that is roll his eyes, so Heinz sets the bow tie aside, pulls out the comb, and sets to work. It's just like grooming his ocelot family, just without the expectation that Heinz use his _tongue_. And Perry the Platypus seems to enjoy it.

By the time he's done, Perry the Platypus looks _incredibly_ \- "Handsome," he murmurs. "You'll do great, I'm sure of it."

* * *

Perry the Platypus is wearing a different fedora, Heinz notices, just before class starts. It looks identical to all his others, but he can _tell_.

"Nervous?" he asks, seeing Perry the Platypus's tail twitch, and gets a glare for his trouble. "Of course not, you're Perry the Platypus, you don't _get_ nervous. Come on, you'll do fine, they'll love you. We'll make a great team, won't we? You're already a _great_ assistant teacher and now it's official!"

Rolling his eyes, Perry the Platypus turns back to his tea, pointedly. That's something Heinz had been surprised to find out about his nemesis after all this time, that he preferred tea to coffee.

As the students file in, Heinz stands. "Good to see you all again! As you know, I've had an assistant teacher for a while- I mean I guess _you_ don't, he's never helped me with you before- The point is. Class, meet-"

"Perry?" an orange-haired girl asks. One of Vanessa's friends, you never learned their names.

Noticing Perry the Platypus stiffen in place, Heinz crouches down by his nemesis's tall stool. "Do you know that girl?" he says quietly, getting a slight nod in response. "Did you know she was going to be here?" Another, smaller, nod. "Do you want to talk to her?"

Perry the Platypus's eyes widen at that and he turns, slightly, just enough to see Heinz. His version of panicking.

"You there, with the orange hair, meet me and Mr Platypus out in the hallway. Everyone else, I hope you've finished your homework," he finishes pointedly, and leads Perry the Platypus outside. "It's kind of _weird_ that she knows your _name_ , Perry the Platypus. Is there something you're not telling me?"

The door clicks shut as the girl, thankfully understanding the need for _privacy_ in this open hallway, joins them. "Perry? That is you, isn't it? Is this where you go every day? You're a _teacher_?"

"Teacher's _assistant_ ," Heinz corrects, automatically. "And this is his first day, officially. Sure, he's helped me out before, we're-" Glancing down at Perry the Platypus's face, he edits the excuse. "-friends. He visits me a lot, at least."

"My brothers' _pet_ is an assistant teacher," she says flatly, folding her arms. "When were you going to tell me, Perry?"

Perry the Platypus _flinches_ , and it's subtle enough that the girl doesn't seem to notice. Heinz only recognises it because he knows his nemesis so well. _Something_ happened there, clearly. There has to be some reason Perry the Platypus never told the family he _apparently_ has.

With another glance at Perry the Platypus, Heinz settles on an explanation. "He, uh. So I'm an _inventor_ , I make _inators_ , I'm sure you've heard about my _classes_ before-" _Vanessa_ always did. "-and, well... He keeps me company sometimes while I do it. I guess he got caught in one of them one day?" _Technically_ true, if he squinted. Enough truth in there that the far bigger lie should slip under the radar. "Does that answer your question?"

"I guess it does," the girl says, obviously reluctant. "I'm not helping you tell Phineas and Ferb though, meat brick. You're on your own there." Then she turns, returning to the classroom.

"That went well?" Heinz tries, and Perry the Platypus hugs his leg tight. "Oh, better than you'd hoped. Well, you're _welcome_ , I couldn't just let my _nemesis_ \- ex-nemesis, fine- get in _trouble_ for _helping_ me. I really do appreciate your help, you know. So, when you're done wiping your _nose_ on my _trousers_ , which is _gross_ by the way, we can go back in and I'll try not to cause _too_ many problems for you. How does that sound, huh?"

Perry looks up with a sniffle, somehow _smiling_ , and that makes the whole situation worth all the trouble. Not that it wasn't already, Heinz never did mind his nemesis's company outside the time they were _required_ to spend together, but the point stands.

Grinning back, Heinz rests his hand on the door. "You owe me for this, you know. Ready?"

The thumbs-up he got in return was answer enough. Perry the Platypus was fine, and they had a class to teach, together. The rest could wait.

* * *

Major _Francis_ Monobrow calls Perry the Platypus during his lunch break, fuming on the tiny watch screen. "Agent P, your cover has been compromised, we need you to-"

"Wait," Heinz says, shoving his face into frame. "Cover? We only talked to that _girl_ -"

"Part of Agent P's host family," Monobrow explains, and Heinz files that information away. Not for Evil, like he would have done over the summer, but just to understand his nemesis better. "If they find out he's an _agent_ -"

"She didn't." Heinz doesn't feel bad about cutting him off, not that he ever did in the first place, but Perry the Platypus is shaking against his shoulder and that's not something he'll accept. "I was _there_ , and all _I_ said was that he visited me and got _inator'd_ a lot. Which is _true_. Not _my_ fault if she reaches the conclusion he's _smart_ because of my _inator_." Maybe his fault. Okay, so he'd deliberately made it sound like that was the reason. "I've read your agency's _rules_ , there's nothing in there saying you have to _reassign_ him because his family found out he's an _assistant teacher_."

"Sir?" the intern's voice says from offscreen. "He's right. We only reassign agents when-"

"When their _agent status_ is compromised," Heinz finishes, gleefully. Vindication. "And _I_ did nothing of the sort. Tell him, Perry the Platypus."

Perry the Platypus nods in agreement, tail twitching against Heinz's leg. That, more than anything, more than Perry the Platypus's reaction in the classroom, told Heinz how serious the situation was. His nemesis _never_ seemed this nervous, _ever_.

"Fine, you win," Monobrow grits out, massaging his monobrow. "Agent P, you can stay with your host family, as long as they don't know you're an agent. Dismissed."

The screen shuts off and Perry the Platypus shoves Heinz's shoulder, growling under his breath.

When Heinz looks back at his nemesis, he's met with a familiar glare boring into him. "What? It's not like it was _Evil_ ," he points out, receiving only narrowed eyes in response. "Okay, maybe it _was_ but it was for the sake of _Good_. By which I mean _you_. You're welcome, by the way."

Perry the Platypus holds the glare for a few more seconds, then sighs and pats the back of Heinz's hand, a small smile on his bill. For Perry the Platypus, that's as good as a giddy grin.

The bell rings and Heinz stands, stretching, and pats Perry the Platypus's shoulders in reassurance. "Ready to go back to class, Mr Platypus?"

Reaching out to take Heinz's hand, Perry the Platypus nods his agreement. There's feelings just barely visible on his face that even _Heinz_ can't identify yet, as well as he already knows Perry the Platypus, but _gratefulness_ is readily apparent. And the surety Heinz had been waiting for all morning.

With that, they leave together, ready for their next class.


End file.
